He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
