Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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