did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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