He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
