some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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