this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
