elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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