I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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