South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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