I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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