I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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