i just google imaged poop.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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