I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize