why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
