if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
