is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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