my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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