when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
