I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
