Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
