laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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