Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
