Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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