My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
