I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
