DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
