oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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