i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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