Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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