Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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