the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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