I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
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Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?