I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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