why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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