And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
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I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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