let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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