my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
