i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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