have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
