Plan B is the new Plan A
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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