You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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