I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
