Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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