That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
