1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize