those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
