she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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