WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
