you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
