and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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