I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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