i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
