Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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