she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize