Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
