you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
